Monday, February 20, 2006

Inconvenient boobs

I suppose I shouldn't really complain about the fact that my boobs have more than doubled in size since they became Baby's instant milk machine; having a biggish chest sure does make the rest of one's body look petite, and that's a definite plus.

But I do miss being pert.

I miss being able to wear little strappy tops in summer, without the robust, canti-levering foundation garment underneath.

I miss sleeping on my stomach without fear of puncturing something.

I miss wearing shirts that fit perfectly across the shoulders, yet don't bind across my chest.

I hate having to list, can I breastfeed in this?, to my list of good shirt criteria.

I miss being able to run across the street without the feeling of twin water-filled balloons bouncing striking my chin.

I worry that, by the time Baby's off the mummy milk, my boobs will be different sizes.

And I will no longer be able to refer to the pencil test* without feeling wistful.



*The pencil test is one which tests "pertness". You place a pencil underneath one boob, and if it stays where it is then you ain't.

16 comments:

cesca said...

I have the exact same feelings about the pencil test. I used to be pert. I could never hold a pencil with my boobs. Now I can. (Sob!)

Beth said...

Pencil test! lol! I can hold the whole of WH Smith's under there!
;-)
Bethx

onscreen said...

Oh man, I fail that pencil test every time...

Violet said...

cesca and beth: so tell me - how do you find tops that fit properly?

onscreen: oh dear. 'Tis sad indeed when those saggy boobs belong to a man...

The Editter said...

I think the trick is the bra. Try lots. Go to Kirks and get them to suggest some. Obviously you're a bit constrained by the breastfeeding thing, but having always been a double-D (till pregnancy made me an E) I can say there're a lot more great bras out there now than there used to be! I mean, what does Elle McPherson do? Oh, that's right, she makes her own line of bras!

I have always failed that pencil test, even as a teenager...

Nigel Patel said...

I have been to a place called "BraWorld", not for me as I'm not so fat as to need to wear "The Bro" but for my ex who was a Double F on the right and a G on the left. It was a specialty bra shop for just such instances.
I once saw a nun in there, which was surprising because I had always assumed that they went around floppy.

flying kiwi said...

Like the Editter, I've also failed the pencil test since I was a teenager (funny that). And apart from wondering whether I can breastfeed in a particular shirt, and the about Baby and different breast sizes, I pretty much live with all your issues...

Actually I can sleep on my stomach no probs.

Rainypete said...

I wouldn't worry too much about the pencil test. It's when you fail the phone book test you've got real problems.

EB said...

Wish I could help but I don't look after that area very well and I should. Pencils go missing all the time ...

Violet said...

editter: those bras cost a bundle though, and I doubt I'd be able to find one that I could wear under spaghetti straps...

nigel: sheesh, she sounds...voluptuous. Even nuns need support y'know.

flying kiwi: that's because your boobs don't fill up and leak during the night :-)

rainypete: especially if it's the New York phone book, eh?

eb: and you haven't looked under your boobs?

boudica of suburbia said...

bah (says she with the big boobs) get used to it! lol

also, the difficulty of buying nice bras for big breasts has to be stressed.

xxB

portuguesa nova said...

Whoever made up the pencil test has a special place in hell reserved just for them.

Violet said...

boudica: but I have to go thru all five stages of grief first - anger and denial are the first two...I can't remember the rest...

portuguesa: no doubt it was a perky-chested woman, like I used to be <:-(

Beth said...

Hi
In England we have a company called Bravissimo. THey only sell above a D Cup and up to a K (I'm a J - yes J!!!) and do really pretty bras online. Can you guys get them in NZ??
Bethx

Violet said...

beth: the name sounds familiar; I'd expect to find their bras in some of the more upmarket shops here, since anything which isn't average-sized tends to be available only in small numbers. But I'm sick of having to wear a bra all the time too - when I was pert I could go bra-less in the summer and it wasn't usually noticeable; now it really is.

glomgold said...

Heh heh. Pencil test. I'm always learning interesting little things here.