Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Insecurity

The boy didn't get around to finishing off the nursery over the weekend, but I suppose he had a really good excuse. I've been sleeping really badly lately, and my nocturnal thrashings about have been keeping my poor love awake too. On Sunday morning he got out of bed really early - it must've been about 6am - and I didn't see him again until I'd got out of bed myself. By that time it was nearly midday. The poor guy was fast asleep in the nursery, cocooned in his sleeping bag on the leather recliner.

But that wasn't all. Once he woke up he complained of having a headache so bad it nearly made him throw up.

Now, ever since I got knocked up I've been a little insecure about how good our life together has been. Maybe it's hormonal, maybe psychological, but the littlest things have been making me see the happy "thing" we have together as fragile, and anyway nothing can be expected to last forever right? When he's late home from work, I worry that something bad has happened on his homeward journey. When he complains of having an intensely nasty headache, what are the chances of it being a brain tumour?

I made him go to the doctor, and apparently he's been suffering from viral encephalitis. It sounds like some kind of lethal tropical disease doesn't it? But apparently there's been a bit of that going around. The doctor said it was on the wane already, and didn't prescribe anything more than a nice, strong painkiller.

So fortunately, life gets to stay good.

7 comments:

flying kiwi said...

Luckily life isn't generally as dramatic as, say, tv drama, and you might just get to live a happy, uneventful (in a good way) life. But you did make me think of Six Feet Under, where Nate gets a brain tumour and then the mother of his baby goes missing and it turns out she's been having an affair with her brother in law and they're both dead. I'm fairly certain you're not having an affair with your brother-in-law (do you even have one?) (and if you are, you should certainly be blogging about it), so you should be fine :)

Wicked said...

If it's any comfort, I felt the same kind of fragility when I was pregnant with both my kids... I found myself looking for any little nuance that might threaten our family life. Sounds melodramatic, but that's what hormones can do sometimes.

happyandblue2 said...

Glad he is ok.
The worrying is probably just practice for when you have the baby,tee,hee..

hazel said...

i'm not pregnant, but i can tell you i have those worries as well. it usually surfaces when i am feeling the most affectionate or content with my life as it is. fear of loss, i guess, and probably healthy in measured doses.

darth said...

yikes..anything with "encepha.." in the title sounds frightening..glad to hear its not serious :)

glomgold said...

Encephalitis definitely does sound intimidating with all its syllables. Good to hear it's no biggie though. I know some people who get those make-you-wanna-puke headaches. Incredibly unpleasant but not anything close to life-threatening.

Violet said...

I got the boy worried today when I told him I'd been feeling on the verge of a headache for several days now.

But if I've had same virus as he, then my pregnancy-related brain shrinkage is probably offsetting the virus-related brain swelling which causes the headaches!

I'm glad my life's not a melodrama.