Monday, May 28, 2007

As the blind vampire circled her...

Hoo! This was a hard first line to follow, possibly because it immediately made me think of Buffy - and nothing I produced would ever stand up to comparison with a Buffy episdoe. Plus, I piked out of writing a fighting scene even though I thought it was needed. Thanks to Make Tea Not War for thinking of it.


As the blind vampire circled her Mung Bean regretted that she had not thought to pack a semi automatic weapon and also that she had worn her Jimmy Choos. Most of her shoes were cleverly designed to hide anti-vamp weaponry - holy water, pencil-thin wooden stakes or garlic concentrate - but the Choos had been pure frivolity. Still, being a stylish dresser had never held her back from Slaying before. It wasn't going to stop her now.

The vampire sniffed and circled closer until Mung Bean could almost see the brand name stamped on the frame of his dark glasses. What was the point of all that blind-person paraphernalia? It's not like anyone's going to offer to help the guy across the road or anything. Just look at him - oversized canines, demony eyes and dead-white complexion - it'd be obvious to anyone he's not your ordinary, average blind guy.

She had her hand on the stake inside her coat pocket, waiting for him to make the first move. He seemed to know she wasn't just another scared girl, soon to be a hot drink. He was taking his time.

Then, just as Mung Bean was about to beat him about his ugly face with a roundhouse kick, the vamp seemed to see something behind her, and fled back the way he came. She whipped around to see who the newcomer was and found herself face to face with a full-grown slime demon, dripping and foul-smelling.

"Chuck! Good to see you!".
"Hey, Mung Bean, long time no see. Wassup?"
Mung Bean sighed. "Look, you didn't have to scare off that vamp, I woulda made short work of him. I know how to do my job".
"Not from where I was standing", replied Chuck, "Not in those heels." And he pointed to the heel of her left shoe, which looked like it was on the verge of breaking away from the rest of the shoe.
"Oh man...I only bought these last week!"
She was going to have to shop a lot more carefully from now on.

9 comments:

Kazzer said...

now Violet, you know I'm not one to criticise, but it took me a while to realise that she wasn't circling her Mung Bean.
Any way, hope your knee is getting betterer.

Make Tea Not War said...

Oh! that was my bad with the missing comma before Mung Bean. Shame on me!

Good work Violet-I like how you worked the Jimmy Choos into resolution

Cathi said...

Love it - a certain Christopher Moore-ish feel, but all your own

The Editter said...

Excellent! I can tell you're having fun with these. They're fun to read too ;)

Here's my opening line - it's from George junior:

"Now I know! You just have to believe in yourself!"

(That was what he said during a bike-riding lesson, after managing to take off by himself).

I'm sure you'll manage to add in sex, money, or shopping as you have done so far - even in a vampire story!

Violet said...

Yeah, if I hadn't assumed the comma, I could've thought up an interesting story about a blind mung bean-hunting vampire. Oh, the possibilities!

make tea: that's okay. I seem to put too many in.

cathi: I've never read Christopher Moore, but if he's about to sue me for plagiarism he's not getting his hands on my Mac.

editter: Well, you what they say about writing what you know...maybe I should start...

Nigel Patel said...

Nice.
I won't be able to play again for a while due to industrial education.
Do have a line if you like or if you dare...
"Who says you never find a cop when you need one, I had one on each arm."

Violet said...

nige: a first line like that is simply begging for a story about sex, shopping and money!

Emma said...

Wow Violet, impressive short story writing!

glomgold said...

At first, when I also thought the vampire was circling her mung bean, my thoughts turned quickly to a nice bowl of cold mung bean soup. It's freakin' muggy outside.