Wednesday, January 23, 2008

On making friends with your kid's friends' parents

These days, the only adults I hang out with are fellow parents. And increasingly, I find myself choosing to hang out with people whose kids play well with TLM. This works out well when us parents enjoy each others' company as much as the kids do. But there are some friends whom I'd like to socialise with, but don't because our respective kids treat each other as unwelcome interlopers. I suppose those get-togethers have to happen when our respective offspring are at creche or whatever.

On the other hand, there are some parents I'd like to hang out with simply because TLM gets along with their kids. Some of these parents I don't know very well; some of them - I suspect - think I'm boring or stupid or full of bollocks, and daily pray that I don't invite them over for a playdate.

And then there are the playdates that don't happen because the other kid's primary caregiver parent is a man. I know a few of those, and - with one exception - I'd feel awkward about organising a playdate where it's just me and him and our respective toddlers. Although, when I think about it, there's really no logical reason to feel this way. It's not like I'm a single parent on the look-out, or an unfaithful one.

It's just one of those boy-girl things.

9 comments:

Zephra said...

Wait until your kid hits teen years. It is way weirder.

Nigel Patel said...

Wow, parenting is way different these days.
My brother, sister & me weren't parented at all. The sis was cooking at the age of four I'm told. (mostly by her)

Violet said...

zephra: I'm already dreading the 'tweens!

nigel: yeah it really is. When I was a kid it wasn't illegal for an under-14-year-old to be home alone. I used to treasure those adult-free times...

Nigel Patel said...

It's illegal! OM(f)G!

But I do worry about how being under constant lockdown, that seems to be the current style of raising American teens, will warp these folks when they're finally set loose.

Leo said...

My friends are the parents of the kids mates as well. It is a bit wierd but we have a lot in common I guess.

Violet said...

nigel: what, it's not illegal in the States too? I'm astounded. Anyway, I guess that's why working parents are nowadays so stressed with having to find suitable babysitters and after-school care.

leo: It's fine if you've got other things in common. But awkward if the only thing you share is your kids.

Angela said...

I feel the same way about getting together with other male parents at least when my husband isn't around.

Lumpyheadsmom said...

Schedule playdates with those kids with male care providers! I think stay-home dads are pretty isolated, and the occasional playdate would be great. And he's probably not going to ask you, so you've got to extend the invitation.

Violet said...

angela: I'm so glad it's not just me.

lumpyheadmom: oh, but that would be so forward of me! ;-)