My boy and I went to see a matinee screening of van Helsing yesterday - I thought it would be a bit of a laugh, in the vein of The Mummy and he generally just likes to go and see crap movies(!).
Well, it wasn't that much in the vein of The Mummy, because it didn't have enough tongue-in-cheekiness about it. Okay, there's a bit very near the end, when the hero holds the limp heroine (played by Kate Beckinsale in yet another vampire movie role) and it all looks so Mills and Boon. And van Helsing the man does look a bit Fabio at times - when he's about to change into a monster he rips his shirt off beforehand. They do that thing where the hero's travels are illustrated by a little black line running through a big map, that's camp I suppose. Dracula's brides are very B-movie - all blondeness and bustiness and inappropriately clothed for the Romanian climate. Some of the back-drops look a bit cartoon-y, but that might also be a subtle nod to 50's cinema.
Other than that, the special effects are pretty good, as you'd expect; Dracula looks like an evil Doctor Kovac (the spunky Eastern European staff member of ER); there's Mr Hyde who looks like a less-cute Shrek; a naughty Friar who's a medieval Q (of the Bond movies), and of course a feisty heroine who can leap and fight despite wearing a very tight corset over a little top which makes her look like her boobies are hanging out.
Could Troy be any worse, I wonder?
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