My grandma is so deaf, I can say naughty words and she won’t tell me off.
My grandma is so deaf that sometimes when we burn the toast and set off the smoke alarm, she asks what that buzzing noise is and whether the smelly toast is attracting flies.
My grandma is so deaf she doesn’t care if I play my favourite CD really, really loud.
My grandma is so deaf that if I fell off the trampoline and cried and cried, no-one would come to help me until mum got home from work.
My grandma is so deaf, I have to pretend I’m a lion and shout right into her ear in a deep voice, or she won’t know it’s time to turn on the telly and watch the news.
My grandma is so deaf that she thinks no-one will talk to her.
My grandma is so deaf that if I want to tell her I love her, it’s easier to just give her cuddles and smiles instead.
My grandson is so gullible that he doesn’t realize I’m only pretending to be deaf, so I’ll get lots of cuddles from him.