Wednesday, October 29, 2008


I should have seen it coming, because last night I gave TLM some kiwifruit. You may not know this, especially if you have never fed a kid kiwifruit, but those furry little green ovals activate a child's bowels like nothing else on earth.

This morning's surprise output was so encompassing, that when I took off TLM's trousers some of it landed on my lap. The rest of it fell between my knees onto the long-suffering rug.
I screamed in horror. The wipes were just out of reach.
The boy, only just dressed to go to work, rushed into the lounge to see who was getting murdered.
I screamed some more and pointed at the box of wipes in the far corner.
The boy went in the opposite direction, perhaps thinking I was thirsty and in need of some elderflower cordial.
I screamed still more, this time with an edge of irritation and waving my pointy finger agressively.
Then I said "The wipes! The bloody wipes!".
The boy muttered something about mind-reading and fetched the wipes.
And we used them all up in the clean-up operation.

Now, I was going to post about TLM's toilet humour. But toilet horror is probably a bit less cliched, right?


Anonymous said...

That reminds me of when my aunt had a Swedish exchange student come to stay. She loved kiwifruit and took a whole bag on 7th form camp with her, eating them all on the bus on the way there. Apparently she was very very ill afterwards.

I shall not be eating any kiwifruit for a bit. Thanks for the reminder!

Violet said...

donnasoowho: good gods, I can just imagine her being on a full coach with a highly animated large colon...

Anonymous said...

Yeah we all had a good giggle about it afterwards.

Angela said...

Now those messes are better avoided

Desiree said...

Ahhah - you obviously did not see Te Radar a couple of nights ago waxing lyrical about the laxative properties of the chinese gooseberry aka kiwifruit. A kiwifruit a day keeps the constipation far away!

Violet said...

desiree: no I didn't see that, but I've known about the "laxative" properties ever since TLM was a liddle biddy baby (funny that). Bananas, on the other hand, encourage constipation - something that comes in handy sometimes...