Monday, March 13, 2006

a slight faux pas

I saw the Editter today at the supermarket. See, last time I had heard from her, she was happily preggers. So when I saw her coming my way, I craned my neck to peer at her tummy and jokingly told her she still just looks fat.

Now, if I'd left the house just an hour later than I actually did, I would have been home to answer the phone when she rang to tell me that she'd miscarried last night.

My embarrassment at having made such a faux pas was overshadowed by my sorrow at the news.

I'd been looking forward to telling her of all the trials and tribulations she could anticipate as a pregant woman. I'd been mentally going through Baby's newborn clothing and picking out the outfits she might like to borrow for her little one. I was going to recommend pregnancy and parenting books. And now I can't.

9 comments:

flying kiwi said...

Hold onto those baby clothes and horror stories - hopefully she'll need them soon...

Juliabohemian said...

what a shame. there's no way you could have known. I once made a similarly embarrassing remark to a coworker who had gotten an abortion. She wasn't even shy about it either.

Wicked said...

I once got a comment like that from someone who knew my mum, but didn't know she had died (6 weeks before the Oldest was born), and cooed over the baby saying, "Ooh, your Mum must be so proud!". I felt awful having to break the news to the poor woman.

Hold on to them anyway, Violet - the baby's coming soon.

Violet said...

flying kiwi: I'm hoping it's a girl; a boy baby might not look so good in those little denim frocks...

juliabohemian: how weird, to tell people you're pregnant if you're going to terminate.

wicked: I bet she felt terrible. It can't be helped, eh?

boudica of suburbia said...

Poor woman

Violet said...

She seems to be handling it really well actually, boudica. She's being quite philosphical about it.

Juliabohemian said...

this girl already had two kids with two different men and probably had other abortions as well. Not, that I am sterotyping, but she was black and from a low income neighborhood. So, it probably seemed more like an everyday type of thing to her. I also thought it was weird that she would tell people and then terminate. She didn't seem to be torn up about it either, if you know what I mean.

Jon said...

I'm sorry to hear that, but you didn't know at the time. I know you'll be a good friend, that's what counts.

Violet said...

boudica: perhaps in a cultural thing? Apparently in China, abortion is just another form of birth control, and the rise in abortions in NZ is at least partly attributed to the rise in numbers of young Chinese women coming to NZ to study...

jon: yeah, I've already loaned her a book which she wouldn't read when she was expecting - the Kevin book.