Monday, March 20, 2006

Craziness

Whenever Baby has one of those let's-see-how-frequently-I-can-wake-mum-up nights, I swear that she's going to be an only child. I cannot imagine how anyone who's already been through child-rearing once could possibly volunteer to do it all over again for a second child.

But here's the thing. Remember that day we almost left Baby with one less fingertip? Well, after we'd put her to bed with extra cuddles and a dose of Pamol, the boy and I were sitting back on the sofa trying to un-tense our neck and shoulder muscles. And then the boy popped the question. How did I feel about us having another baby?

The all-consuming tiredness that comes from never getting more than six hours of sleep at a time (and usually just three or four), wasn't quite a distant memory yet.

I explained that, while Baby is surely the most gorgeous wee creature on the planet and I was joking every time I threatened to take her back in exchange for one that sleeps, I wasn't sure I had it in me for a repeat.

But the boy would like a son, no doubt a feisty wee nipper whom he'll play computer games with and teach how to hold a knife in a fight. What could I say? I told him to ask me again in six months.

And you know what? The next day, while I was walking Buggy around in the buggy for two hours in a fruitless attempt to extract some Z's out of her, I found that thinking up boy's names took my mind off that long, steep hill back home.

16 comments:

Frally said...

My advice - do it now. The longer you let the baby stage go for your first one, the harder you'll find it to go back to it for a second one. At least if you're already in that state of mind, you're adjusted enough to do it with 2 babes instead of one. And it'll all be over quicker than you know it. Says the lady with her 3rd on the way just as her 2nd is coming well out of the baby stage. Rats.

Kazzer said...

For God's sake lock the bedroom door, get a chastity belt, or start putting bromide in his tea.

EB said...

Next you'll be picturing Baby playing with her brother and thinking, forget six months, let's do it!

Juliabohemian said...

So I take it your really don't like sleep all that much.

Rainypete said...
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Rainypete said...

I'm inclined to agree with Frally. Sooner rather than later will make it seem like less work. It may seem like the right approach to have a bit of a break to wait for the diapers and everything else to be gone for a little, but the overlap makes it a lot easier. You're house is already prepped and set for baby living and all that other fun stuff.

I wasn't sure about #2 but now that he's here, I wouldn't have it any opther way.

The Editter said...

"while I was walking Buggy around in the buggy..."

You are sleep deprived! But hey, it can't get any worse, right?

How about Kevin for a name?? I've just started Let's Talk about Kevin, here are a couple of quotes in case you've fogotten:

Now that children don't till your fields or take you in when you're incontinent, there is no sensible reason to have them, and it's amazing that with the advent of effective contraception anyone chooses to reproduce at all.

and

What were we thinking?

Violet said...

frally: But I still haven't got my body back from having the first! If I have a second without a recovery period then surely there'll be no recovery...

kazzer: Actually, just having a baby is a reasonably good preventative.

eb: Maybe this is the real reason for mummy brain.

juliabohemian: Oh I love sleep, but I can barely remember what it feels like!

rainypete: well if you're going to be all logical about it then sure...

editter:haha; and that was in one of my more lucid moments! I guess there's a reason I feel so strongly about the book. Eva is no monster; she's not that different from me (but more successful career-wise and unluckier baby-wise).

Wicked said...

From one who left it til later to have her second (the Oldest was 3 and a half at the time), I'd say do it sooner!
I can remember horrific nights, lying in bed, 36 weeks full of the Smallest, with a toddler out of nappies altogether and about to start all over again from scratch. It was stiff-shit to all my second thoughts!

Violet said...

Wicked:what's scary is that just looking after one baby is hard enough, without having to also cater to the needs of a toddler. I'm going to have to think about it. A lot.

flying kiwi said...

I was going to say: tee hee, you called Baby "Buggy", but of course the Editter, of all people, beat me to it.

If you had another girl, would you have to keep on trying? Heed the cautionary tale of my family (I'm the fourth of four girls, they gave up after me - of course, if they'd given up sooner, Baby wouldn't have a godlessmother)

Juliabohemian said...

My first child was up constantly. I had my second when she was 2 1/2 and the second one hardly ever stirred. I was still getting up with the first one when the second one was sleeping just fine. It really depends on the kid. Plus, my first one is sever Adhd so she had sleep problems.

Make Tea Not War said...

Can't really give you any advice. I'm 90% not going to have another one but I do find myself daydreaming about boys names every now again and the idea of definitely not having another & of Z being an only child makes me sad- but the idea of having another and thinking about what that really means in terms of going through another pregnancy, sleepless nights, two children to get ready in the morning instead of one, weekends even more completely dominated by child-care & needs for the foreseeable future, taking an even bigger hit to my career than I already have, the financial sacrifice etc isn't really that enticing either.

Either way I think I will feel some regret- but since my husband absolutely does not want another one that might just be the deciding factor.

Violet said...

flying kiwi: yeah I was thinking about that; what if it's another poor sleeper AND not even a boy, to boot. Well the last two nights have been horrendous, so perhaps the gods are trying to tell me I'd be insane to willingly try it again...

juliabohemian: Poor you, poor firstborn. My nephew had terrible sleep problems too, due to ezcema. If only the geneticists could pick out the gene for good sleeping, and ensure that we got a more convenient baby.

mtnw: It would be nice if the decision could be made for me; I'm notorious for being unable to make my mind up - must be a Libran thing!
If baby no. 2 came with a supernanny I'd be much more inclined to go for it.

boudica of suburbia said...

I think you just hope that the second one is easier to manage. I'd do it before baby turns 2, but what the hell do I know?

xxB

Violet said...

boudica: I'd feel a lot better if I could get a guarantee!