Sunday, October 21, 2007

For pity's sake

My last post didn't attract any condolences, and it's obvious that I'm hopeless at expressing emotional stuff. Is this any better at conveying how sorely we miss the boy?

Readers, I miss him. The king-sized bed is far too empty with just me in it, and this tiny cottage is a big pit of despair when the boy's 6'2" form isn't stomping around in it. TLM misses him too, though of course she doesn't say so explicitly. There were some idle moments this weekend when she should have been cadging steak and cheese pie off him, and couldn't. She misses his boisterous play, his endless patience with her, and the spelling lessons he gives at bathtime. Naptimes are horrendous because that's when TLM becomes hysterical with the knowledge that I won't be with her - and the fear that I'll be off next. Bedtimes are easier only because she's too tired to keep up the sobbing.

It was cruel to schedule this business trip to coincide with the first long weekend since June, because I don't feel I can impose myself on friends who've probably either left town for the holiday, or want to have extra family time to themselves. I can't even give TLM an extra daycare session, to give me a break, because it'll probably exacerbate her anxiety.

I don't like this solo parenting gig.

5 comments:

Make Tea Not War said...

Oh no! I didn't realise it was getting to you that much. Condolences. I don't know if it's any consolation but we've got all of the extended family on Mike's side coming over for lunch tomorrow so my long weekend has been all about shopping, cleaning and cooking. Tomorrow will be more of the same with between 10 and 12 adults squashed into our tiny house. Then I'll get to clear up after they leave and do all the dishes. Oh and the neighbours also asked me to move the big pile of rotting branches we'd allowed to accumulate away from their side of the fence so yesterday I got to clear that up and I'm not kidding there were horrifyingly GIANT earthworms lurking in the underlying mud. My point here being not everyone is having idyllic fun times even though its a long weekend!

Anyway, hang in there. He'll be home soon I'm sure and TLM will outgrow the separation anxiety phase eventually.

Nigel Patel said...

At least you're in it together.
You can miss him as a group. (or at least a pair)

I'm sure there's no place he'd rather be stomping around in.
But then nobody really likes business trips unless they're to Vegas or something.

Violet said...

mtnw: well, it was really something in between blase and gigantic freak-out. But thanks for the condolences, and I'll offer some of my own for your weekend of cooking and cleaning. I hope your mutant earthworms aren't just the result of feeding peculiar vegetarian waste into your worm farm.

nigel: it's true that the boy sounds like he's not exactly enjoying himself. But he does have a workmate (and friend) to abuse in French while he's at it (they're in Belgium).

Angela said...

I am not made out for the single parent thing either. When my husband is gone all day it is hard being a super mom.
Hope you made it through in one piece.

Violet said...

angela: I'll let you know when it's over! The boy's away for another week.