Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Antenatal class number two

Tonight's class was a heckuva lot more uncomfortable than last week's. For a start, the midwife showed us a birth video. Apparently this birth was a nice, easy one. All the same, there's something about watching a woman pant from the effort and pain of squirting out a real, live baby, all the labour of it showing on her face, that made me want to reconsider the possibility of asking for a caesarian. It was full-on; I didn't really want to see her anus all stretched out from the pushing, even though that was the only way I was going to see the baby pop out of her other oriface (she was on all fours).

No matter how civilised we humans are, childbirth brings us right back to our most primal, animalistic state.

The other reason why the class was so uncomfortable is that there weren't any get-up-and-talk sessions like there were last time. Two hours is a really long time to stay seated - for me right now, anyway. We talked about the different stages of labour, SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), infant resucitation, and why we shouldn't put the baby on synthetic bedding. Interesting as it was, I had a really hard time keeping still. First my bum started getting sore, then my legs started getting restless. I'd cross and uncross my legs, sit on one bum cheek then the other, sit up straight then slouch. It really distracted me from the discussion.

Every couple received a bag of freebies from Johnson and Johnson. Among the baby soaps, moisturisers and nursing pads was a small sachet of KY lubricant. Hmmm...

15 comments:

Ms Mac said...

Ugghhh birthing videos are tough! And did noone tell you not to cross your legs? It's bad for circulation! ;-)

EB said...

Whoa, that's graphic. We missed seeing that because the video player was broken for us.

EB said...

You got more freebies than us. Just remember when you're taking photos of the baby that the KY lubricant is nowhere in the shot.

Rainypete said...

I hated when they made the missus watch those wretched tapes. Nothing liek scaring the bejayzus out of a woman who is soon to pop. Maybe they are trying to trigger labor?

The KY is good for a laugh though. Usually it's a long time before the stuff is going to be used for anything like it was intended for. The baby can smell when you are getting ready and begins to cry so taht you have to leave the room.

happyandblue2 said...

Geez. Sorry I have never seen that movie. I wonder if you can rent it at the video store.
Bleech..

Jon said...

KY? Just remember that's what got you preggers in the first place ;)

Kazzer said...

Thank you for convincing us childless women that we are doing the right thing!

portuguesa nova said...

I saw a "standard, nothing fancy, run of the mill" birthing video in some health class in college...about eight years ago...I remember every single solitary minute of it.

Violet said...

ms. mac: Believe me, I don't cross my legs except when my bum is so sore and my legs are so antsy that I just have to move 'em somehow.

eb: it's probably just as well, since you ended up having a caesarian anyway.

rainypete: I read in the book accompanying the freebies that I might be needing it after the birth even if I never needed it before the birth...

happyandblue2:funny you should say that, because some of the woman's positions and moans did sound very slightly erotic. But I'm sure you could find something way more appropriate for your entertainment...

jon: see my reply to rainypete

kazzer: I think an awful lot of denial is essential when making the decision to start a family.

portuguesa nova: whoa - watching a birthing video when you aren't even expecting? That would really put you off, wouldn't it? I guess there's a reason people don't normally get to see one until it's too late to change their minds.

The Editter said...

yes, I was wondering whether portuguesa nova's video-viewing was in any way related to her not being sure about becoming a mother...

there is denial both ways, really, without kids I'm doomed to working forever and lately I've been feeling jealous of the women who have a way out of our workplace...

I summed the whole dilemma up to a friend recently as "so, basically you can't decide whether you should get a new job, go on holiday, have a baby or buy new boots?"

"That's exactly it", she said.

Make Tea Not War said...

I was thinking the other day if I had another baby I could take a year off work and thus get out of a years worth of boring meetings...but in my sane moments I know thats not really a good enough reason.

For what its worth my thoughts on birth are that, while intense at the time, it is only a few hours out of your whole life, and the pain doesn't last. I didn't have an easy birth experience and ended up having an emergency caesarian but ultimately I was fine and I had a healthy, beautiful baby--and that is all that really matters.

Violet said...

Editter: if I was your friend, and if she's under 35 - I'd choose the holiday!

mtnw: there are probably easier ways of getting out of boring meetings aren't there? ;-)

Ali said...

that's the best thing about being on the other side of the birthing process...you don't have to watch!

cesca said...

I agree with Ali. When it's actually YOU giving birth, you don't care what the hell you look like.

Birth videos, to me anyway, are worse than actually giving birth.

And yes, it is very primal. Very bizarre for your body to just take over and do it.

glomgold said...

Ugh. Not really my kinda film.