Good as Gold were having a sale on their designer casual gear, so in my lunch break I went in to check it out. There were Cheap Monday jeans for $40, which sounds really cheap to me because it's a brand I've heard of and the denim is both dark and stiff. I dunno why, but dark, stiff denim always looks and feels more expensive than lighter or softer denim.
I selected two pairs in two different sizes, one was the size I hoped I'd fit into and the other was the size I was likely to fit into. They both had 34 inch inseams, which meant that I could probably make a nice shopping tote out of the bits I chopped off after shortening the legs. They were both of that expensive-looking super-dark, super-stiff denim.
The fit was rubbish.
While I did want a higher rise (just up to the belly button), the waistband on these jeans went right up to my natural waist. They would have gone further, but there wasn't enough width to allow it - therefore, the result was this crazy spilled-over camel-toe effect at the crotch. Also, the thighs of the jeans went all the way down to my knees.
I had truly forgotten how terrible designer jeans can look on a shortie like me.