Friday, June 13, 2008

Working mother's guilt

TLM ended up missing out on her last day at her daycare. Her babysitter had already made a batch of chocolate cupcakes for the occasion and I'd already picked out a leaving present for the daycare - but it wasn't to be. I'll probably arrange for a midday visit once she's better, so she can properly say goodbye to her little friends (or more importantly, eat cake and be the centre of attention).

It was incredibly hard to leave her this morning. I'd arranged to stay at home with TLM until mid-morning, and for the babysitter to take over so I could go to work. TLM had seemed quite happy up until the babysitter's arrival. But obviously the wee mite was still very poorly and wanted her mummy. There were tears, hysteria and tantrums; pleadings to go to work with mummy; refusals to get off my lap...

All the way to work I felt like the baddest mum ever. Why on earth was I insisting on going to work when it wasn't even really busy this week? Shouldn't I be putting TLM's happiness over my wish to earn the money that pays for the babysitter? (See, this is why I never wanted to be self-employed. At least if I were a permie, I'd be able to use up my sick leave in order to stay at home when TLM is sick, and still get paid.)

Thankfully, she's over the worst of it now.

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