Friday, September 23, 2005

Boring for most,interesting for me

I never meant to be the sort of person who abandons her friendships when she's in a relationship, but that's what I turned out to be. Although I still keep in touch with my mates, the days of every-weekend dinners and movies, and Friday night drinkies were history soon after the boy and I hooked up. Now that we have a young baby, it's even more so. In fact, apart from the occasional evening when the boy has had a few wines and is in a philosophical mood, this blog is now my main medium for talking about movies, books, life and anything else. Is this sad?

Yesterday, in the middle of my afternoon of squawking non-sleeping Baby, I had a moment of success. The frontpack, which I'd bought a couple weeks ago and which Baby hated, is no longer a worthless piece of equipment which I should have traded in for a pair of non-maternity jeans. I tried Baby in it yesterday as a last resort; not only did she not hate it, but she actually dozed off in it. It's a small step for a blog-reader but a huge triumph for this new mother who loathes wasting money.

Another triumph this morning - we put Baby in her hammock as soon as she started yawning, ignored her plaintive cries, and were pleasantly surprised to find that she'd got herself to sleep within ten minutes. What an ego boost.


flying kiwi said...

See? You can totally do this mother thing.

Make Tea Not War said...

Yeah, me too on the abandoning friends and blogging as an outlet thing. I found it even worse once I was back at work. Weekends became incredibly, incredibly precious because there is so much to fit in:- housework as well as trying to find some actual time to enjoy being a family and ideally but often unattainably some time for yourself.

boudica of suburbia said...

My advice? Find someone local to come and do the cleaning once a week, or hire a babysitter to watch Baby whilst you have a nap. Either way, treat yourself and put your feet up. Oh, and make sure the Boy knows hes footing the bill, lol.


Kazzer said...

I know what you mean, Violet. Although I only see you every 6 months or so, I feel like I talk to you every day!
Don't worry too much about the baby thing - you'll always be bombarded with advice, but I've always found that 'Mother knows best'. Just go with your instincts.

Frally said...

I totally understand what you're saying, I went through an "OMG, I've turned into a loser!" crisis soon after my first bub. I think this is a normal thing to feel. It has been a good way to find out who my real friends are. Not surprisingly, all the childless, single ones buggered off as soon as she popped out! Most days, blogging is the closest I get to adult conversation.

Rainypete said...

You've learned the ahrdest and most important lesson of parenting.....It's okay to let them cry when you know they're fine. We found that out a few months into kid#1 and were astonished to find the crying would cease and slumber would begin.

Picking her up only kept her (and us) awake longer.

glomgold said...

I think that's pretty normal but sad nonetheless. Friendships have a way of slowing to a trickle. Good news about baby taking a liking to the frontpack. If for no other reason than you did not wind up wasting money on it!

Nigel Patel said...

Maybe I need to find some pals to hang around with while I'm busy being un-coupled.
Problem is that I prefer women as pals, but then eventually I know.

Nyx said...

You actually sound like you've got this mother thing sussed. It's not all black and white, and it does change constantly but you sound like an old pro already.

EB said...

I also think that you are doing well at being a mum.

Having an outlet for expressing oneself, other than via a pump, is healthy.

Jon said...

'young baby'? I'd be frightened if you had an old baby!

don't worry, i'll keep reading, boring or not. nobody is interesting all the time, which is why blogs are, well, interesting. unless you are concealing your secret dominatrix life from us.... (^_^)

Violet said...

flying kiwi: all it takes is for one or two Baby-led naps to make me feel I'm doing okay :-)

mtnw: I felt that even before Baby came along, when I was studying part time whilst working full time in another city. At least now, we have a good excuse for the busy-ness.

boudica: I really like the idea of an occasional cleaner, but somehow the idea of getting a plasma tv appealed to the boy a whole lot more ;-)

kazzer: "Mother knows best" - I tried that on my mum when she offered more advice than I really wanted i.e. that I'm now a mum so I know what to do for my child. She didn't believe me.

frally: funny you say that. The one friend who has visited more than once is the one who is expecting her own first child - and is probably looking for a bit of practice.

rainypete: but it's hard when they cry really hard, and real tears roll down their cheeks.

glomgold: she's a little hot and cold with the frontpack, but I'll certainly persist with it now.

nigel: that shouldn't be an obstacle, since lots of couples start out as platonic friends.

llcoffee: nah, I'm still an awkward beginner. It's been a steep learning curve.

eb: hah, very punny!

jon: who told you about my dominatrix life?!?!?!?

Urban Chick said...


after a day with the chicklets, i crave some meaningful human interaction and get much of this from blogging

so, in conclusion, if you are 'sad' then so am i (and doubtless many others!)