Friday, February 17, 2012

On popularity

I've been worrying about TLM because, even though she's the nicest, cutest, most imaginative and  charming 6 1/2 year old I know, she is sometimes friendless.

At school TLM has tons of friends - no worries there.
But at Chinese School (which is weekly), if her cousin isn't there then she has no chums amongst her classmates.

After each Pippins meeting lately, she tearfully complains that the other girls won't talk to her. It hasn't put her off going, and it's probably due to her being the only girl in the group who doesn't go to school there. But the thought of her sitting all by herself while gaggles of girls giggle around her, makes me sad.

TLM also does a bit of Chinese dancing. And it's a really similar situation there. They don't all go to the same school or anything, but they are pretty clique-y. 

Probably, if I don't do anything, she will eventually either make more friends just by being her lovely self - or turn out to be one of those types with a really small number of wonderful friends rather than a hoard of casual friends.  She will probably be fine.

It's hard not to try to make it better though.


Amanda said...

Oh no! They sound like nasty cliquey little girls. I don't think its TLM who has the problem. She's a lovely child- DOTH loves her and considers her one of her BFFs

Anonymous said...

Oh that makes me feel so sad!! Although I can empathise with TLM when I was a child until I went to college I was painfully shy and never had any friends. Well - usually I had 1 or 2 but then if they were away for the day I found myself hanging around in the playground by myself.

Playground politics - little kids can be so nasty. I now take great pleasure in declining their friend requests on Facebook. Not that they probably realise the reason I am doing it because they didn't invite me to their Madonna themed fancy dress party.

Violet said...

amanda: it's mutual!
donnasoowho: yeah I was like that well into adulthood actually. Which probably explains all of my solitary hobbies...

WS said...

That is sad. It rather reminds me of my own childhood. I wish I knew the secret to finding friends - still don't! Sometimes something like taking a cake treat to share (as long as one doesn't provoke 'allergy' talk..!) is a good way to break the ice.

Violet said...

I don't want to do the ingratiating thing - it would be so obvious.
I reckon as long as TLM is happy to keep attending I should stop worrying, because it's not like she has no friends at all. Maybe it'll be character-building

Lumpyheadsmom said...

Ugh. Poor thing.

1. That sucks.
2. There's nothing wrong with her.
3. That still sucks.

A hug for her - and two for you.

Violet said...

thanks Lumpyheadsmom. Hugs are good :-)